The question I get most as a matchmaker is…
WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD MEN?!

With “good” usually meaning kind, respectful, and marriage-oriented.

I typically don’t like this question—because the type of questions we ask ourselves shape our reality.
And “Where are all the good men?” assumes there’s a shortage… that the “good” ones are hidden in some secret corner of the world, out of reach from you. (There aren’t!)

But from an anthropological and social perspective, marriage today is becoming a luxury status, a display of social class.

With the social stigmas around premarital sex, cohabitation, and having children before marriage fading, and an array of legal documents available that offer protection without needing marriage, getting married now speaks more to a person’s social, emotional, and spiritual desires than their practical ones.

In other words, men no longer “need” marriage to access relationships with women.
But the men who still choose to get married are often doing so because their social environment values that tradition.

In elite social circles, especially in the professional world, being married gives men tangible career advantages, they’re seen as more stable, trustworthy, and responsible.

So yes:
Men are socially rewarded for being committed to a woman through marriage.1

That’s why I recommend finding spaces where men are more likely to see marriage not just as a personal decision—but as part of their identity, class, and long-term legacy.

Here are a few places I suggest to meet men who are likely to value tradition, marriage, and intentional legacy-building—based on their social capital and class2:

• Private Member Clubs – Think Soho House, Core, or university alumni clubs.

• Wealth Management Seminars – Men thinking long-term about legacy and family wealth.

• Philanthropy Galas – Where generosity meets influence.

• Industry Conferences – Especially in finance, tech, or real estate (seriously, almost ALL men).

• Synagogues, Mosques, Temples, & Churches in Affluent Areas – Spirit, stability, and community roots.

• Art Auctions & Museum Events – Culture + quiet wealth.

• Board Member Mixers & Civic Leadership Forums – Purpose-driven with pedigree.

• Golf Clubs & Tennis Tournaments – Classic gentleman’s grounds with courtship charm.

• Luxury Group Travel (Safari, Culinary, Sailing) – High-end adventurers open to love…
  (I’m hosting one in Kenya in December 2026 on a vineyard owned by a Harvard Business School alum and entrepreneur—who happens to be single, wink. Want to come? Email me: anmorris@alumni.princeton.edu)

And if you're in BOSTON in a few weeks…
Joyce Zhang is a Dating Coach for High Performers. She helps ambitious people build the touchy-feely relationship skills needed to thrive in love.
You may request an invite to her Invite-Only singles event in Boston by applying [here]. Follow her Substack here for high level dating advice.

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