A lot of women misconstrue my job as a matchmaker as being the magical gatekeeper of commitment-ready men that exist outside their usual environment, but in reality, these men exist all around us. At the grocery store, at work, at the park, at networking events, at church, at school—everywhere!

So why do so many women say that men don’t want commitment anymore? Well, it’s because they don’t understand the conditions that must be met for men to desire and initiate commitment. Yes, some aspects do have to do with him, but many conditions are ones that you, as a woman, have the power to activate.

As a woman, you know the conditions that make you want to have sex: comfort, ease, peace, relaxation, safety, emotional closeness, and, lastly, intrinsic motivation.

Similarly, men have a set of conditions that must be met before they commit. One might say, “Commitment has nothing to do with me; if he wants to, he will.” And to some extent, that is true, but just like your willingness to have sex also relies on how well he’s met your conditions.

So here are the conditions, outside of intrinsic motivation, men need to have met in order to commit:

• Emotional Safety & Connection: Men want to feel emotionally secure and able to be vulnerable without fear of rejection. When a woman creates a space of warmth, trust, and safety, it makes commitment feel possible and worthwhile.

• Fear of Losing You/Competition: When a man perceives you to be a rare catch—someone who adds unique value to his life—he experiences a sense of urgency to commit. Knowing that others might also recognize your worth heightens his desire to secure the relationship and protect the connection.

• Physical Attraction & Feminine Energy: Men are drawn to a woman’s physical and emotional magnetism, especially when she embodies her authentic femininity—softness, confidence, and nurturing energy. It’s the chemistry that sparks deep attraction and sets the stage for a lasting connection.

• Clear Value-Add: A man commits when he clearly sees how you enhance his life—whether through emotional support, contributing to his happiness, shared experiences, or aligning values and goals. You become an essential partner who contributes to his growth and happiness, making the idea of losing you unthinkable.

As a matchmaker, I help women strategically position themselves to connect with the right men—those who have already met these 4 key conditions and are ready to commit.

Want to meet the old fashioned way? Get on my free private database to be considered for dates with clients

www.soulmatesearchmatchmaking.com

Are you a High-Performing Visionary? Email me to inquire about an active matchmaking membership

anmorris@alumni.princeton.edu